A Brand New Prayer

I have this brand new prayer that I wish desperately to continue to want to pray: God, keep this new hunger for your Word alive inside of me.  Do not let me become distracted by meaningless circumstances, as I so often have before.


I like it here.  Very much.  'Here' in this newfound desire to immerse myself in the Word and to learn more about the teachings of Jesus, and 'here' also being this page, this place where I am hoping to put on paper (read: screen) whatever it is that God would have me to say.

Not that I'm doing exactly THAT yet, but I'm hopeful...

I have not yet gone (very) public with this journal, partly because I do not yet know what direction I am being led in, but also because I have a nasty little habit of wanting an audience, of needing the validation that comes from having a readership.  If this is to be for God's glory, rather than my glory, then a site meter is out of the question, and self-promotion would be ever unseemly.  I have listed this link over in the sidebar on my food blog and on my Facebook page, but with no announcement or fanfare at this time, and while this might appear to be a humble move on my part, it has not escaped my notice that this is sort of the way I have always approached being public about my faith.

If anyone asks me where I stand on matters of religion, then I do not hesitate to say that I am a believer, but I am pretty certain that I do not make it obvious to others that I am a follower of Christ.  I do not bring up God to my non-churched friends.  I even, dare I admit it, avoid the topic altogether with my atheist friends.

Ever heard of The Great Commission?  Well, we could just go ahead and list that one under the heading of 'Things at Which Sarah has Completely Failed.'

I like to think this is because I prefer to show Christ to others through the way I live my life, rather than shoving my religion down the throat of those who might be offended, but that is only a polite way of saying that (1) I act like I am ashamed of my faith, (2) I feel so unqualified on the subject of religion that I stay away from the topic so as to not be embarrassed by my abject ignorance, and (3) I care more about what people think than I care to let on.

So, is it a humility thing that is keeping me semi-quiet about this forum, or is it fear?