I finished studying the book of Acts recently, but realized that with all the fanfare with which I had begun this re-read, the whole project ended with a whimper. From me. I expected to really Get It this time, you know? I felt certain I would gain an understanding of the Holy Spirit, an appreciation for the book as a whole, maybe some scripture memorization, or at least a wee bit of newly acquired and applicable knowledge.
For the most part, I got nothing.
Life interceded, as it it wont to do, and Preston and I found our marriage under attack, as Satan himself is wont to do.
Want to test your own faith, your spouse's faith, and the strength of your relationship? Embark together on a journey in which you pray together daily and faithfully study the Bible during your individual quiet times. Then wait patiently.
We even sort of saw it coming, and neither of us were that surprised that there were visible snags, but it was disgusting nonetheless. Some of it was relatively comical, and some was heartbreaking. We continued to pray together, but I lost sight of the goal more than once (more than I care to admit, actually).
Then I began my morning study of Acts one day last week, and realized with surprise, and no small amount of dismay at how little I had really learned, that I was finishing the last chapter.
And there, almost at the very end of that final chapter were these words, "...'You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.' For this people's heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them." - Acts 28:26-27 (NIV).
How something can be so humbling, so full of hope, and yet so tragic is almost more than I can bear, because I have let this world affect my heart, and it will take a bigger commitment to faith than I yet have if I am ever to arrive at the place where that verse would lead me.
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